I mean look at my luscious mustache I probably have more boys in my yard than Kelis, and I don't even have to whip out my milkshakes. You don't even know how good my milkshakes are!! Just kidding, I understand the awesomeness of milkshakes, but what's your secret milkshake formula Kelis?
Oh dang, she just told me that she'll tell me, but she'll have to charge. I'm broke, so I'm just gonna have to say no thanks. Anyway back to the point, which is my mustache that grows like nobodies business, and I'm not talking about the white girls mustaches that you can barely see because their hair is blond; I'm talking full on bushy mustaches that you can see from miles away. The ones like so..
Ooh so sexy. Anyway I usually go to this place where they thread my mustache, so the boys will stay away from me because hey, the longer it grows the more boys show up asking how I get my mustache so prominent and luscious.
Of course they would love a mustache such as mine obviously but, seriously it's so full and silky. I mean mustaches might as well be the new accessory for your face because of the fact people can see it better. It is one of the most looked at part of your body, and it's showing off your lips and that's a good thing, right?
Back to the threading I haven't done it in a while so my mustache is especially thick and black, just like the boys like it and well, I decided to get rid of it with my good friend tweezers. These devices are more like torture devices made for a very painful experience and also makes my whole upper lip red with the proof that I went through something completely excruciating. Well it's better than waxing that's apparently another form of torture.
Yeah I've seen videos that made me decide that I'm never going to do such a dreaded thing to myself I mean if you don't know me I'm afraid of pain, so for the second time in this blog post I'm going to have to say no thanks.
Anyway I tweezed and went to my activity something that we do every Wednesday and it was with the boys that particular and we were dancing and getting close to the boys cause you know how we do. Just kidding it was square dancing and since we didn't have enough boys we had some girls that had to dance with other girls. And guess which person was the one getting stuck dancing with other females like myself.
You guessed it.
So we were rotating and my friend said that it was good I was to be the man because I was more manly than her because of my mustache. Yup she went there and I spent my night dipping, spinning, and putting girls hands on my back all night pretty awesome to have to be the guy, right?
Wrong, their were moves like the cuddle and well that was just plain awkward, and again I had to put the girl's hands on my back and they were suppose to walk their hands against my back well that wasn't the best thing to be doing on a Wednesday night, but that's what I was doing.
Well the only pro about this situation was that when I go to church dances and the boy I'm dancing with doesn't know how to swing dance I can lead him around and put him in the cuddle way to often and say that it's how your suppose to dance cause I'm just smooth like that. Just kidding, I'm probably going to bust my best ghetto moves on them breaking it down like so.
Yeah showing those guys whose boss. Actually I'm kidding again I can't do this I mean I think this gif is fake I mean nobody is actually that awesome I mean I'll probably end up doing this.
But no matter what all those boys in the end will fall for my awkwardness and I mean Jake style.
I'm awesome I already know.
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