The Work-Out Of Champions!!

Everyone says that they might have the most embarrassing sibling ever but in comparison to me I would probably have to take the cake (vanilla preferably).

They're brutish hooligans that embarrass me daily though thankfully it's usually at home. So sit back and bring out your popcorn as I do something that is the number one rule in our family, and that is don't tell family secrets and I'm sure that you won't tell.  Get ready to be flabbergasted by my family's awesomeness.

 So the other day I walked into the room that I share with my sister hoping to get some reading time alone and she's on our kung fu mat. But not only is she on it but she's doing something really strange and unusual.... (oooh mysterious!)

 She has ankle weights on and has on one of those work-out headbands and eye of the tiger is blasting on our radio as her feet stick up in the air kicking around, her arms were pumping in the air as if they were trying to be in sync but they couldn't get a hang of the motion.

 As I looked at the horrible sight in front of me the song started to get to the main chorus, and she started singing like a dying cow at the top of her lungs (yeah all of my family has horrible singing "skills" but she takes the prize for being higher than all of us on the scale of wretched singing) as she kept doing whatever it was that she was doing. Then things took the toll for the worse as she stood up and started to do something that I could only guess was her attempt at dancing. All and all she looked like a roach.

Wait wrong roach well no matter.

 Now that you know about my sister I have to tell you that her dancing is something of a sight and not exactly the good kind. So I can do the worm, because I'm so awesome like that, and my sister (the same sister from the other incident) decided that she wanted some attention too so she proceeded to lay down and start doing something that included a lot of flopping about.

 She was not doing the worm actually she wasn't doing anything close to the worm she was just kind of slamming her belly on the wood floor. It looked painful, but my sister did it nonetheless and afterwards I called it the floppy fish.

 She took offense to the name, so I told her that next time that she has the urge to do anything close to the worm to just lay on the ground. Of course she didn't get it so I told her that it was called the dead worm and that it would be better than the jerking motions that she previously did. Yeah it's better if she lets the worm to only be preformed by professionals like me of course.

Don't be hatin' on my mad skills for real cause baby I was born this way. I know all of you want a sister like mine so know you can have one for only 99$ it's a pretty penny, but you won't be disappointed for your purchase and if you order know it comes with a free brother too!! So ORDER NOW, NOW, NOW!!!

Stay 5 feet Away From the Perimeter!

I like personal space in fact I have so much personal space that I'm usually five meters away from people as much as possible.

 Some might call me antisocial but School House Rock would be proud because after all they did teach me that everyone should have elbow room. Anyway some people don't respect other peoples personal space obviously, and truth be told I don't take too kindly to those kinds of people because well I think we all know those people and if you don't it might be yourself so check yourself before you wreck yourself. But the point is I don't want anyone, don't care who you are, to invade my personal space and I will tell you off like so..

Okay maybe not that harsh but I think it's reasonable to do unless you like a person all up in your business or if your the one that intrudes on other peoples space please stop.

 I mean it's all awesome and dandy when you hug someone I mean I guess that isn't too bad or when you give someone a slight peck on the cheek even maybe one on the mouth if you're fast, but I'm talking about the people that show way to much affection for the other in public or maybe even just are way to close to the other person.

I don't care if you're a boy or a girl, but seriously stop!! Everyone wants you to you make them feel awkward so please for the love of humanity stop.

 Don't be that clingy guy/girl that nobody wants to hang around, or date because lets be honest I think that everyone has the potential to be one of these people, and nobody wants a friend or boyfriend/girlfriend like that.

I don't really have any of these people in my life mostly because I don't like to be around most people, but the reason I'm talking about this is because of the kids that have make-out secession at the kitty playground behind my house.

 I know pretty darn gross there's a lot of things that go on in that playground but this by far might be the worse I won't even tell you what the first one is but it's pretty nasty too. So these kids my age that are way to young (because I'm only fourteen) go to the park almost everyday with there dog and they make out on the kitty slide.

 That playground is for little kids and there they are doing that it's really flabbergasts and disgusts me that kids my age would have the audacity to do such a things at a freaking little kids playground it's kind of depressing it makes my lack of love for the world lessen. What I feel like..

Yup so that's it but I must say I'm listening to Pandora and it's playing the worse playlists ever and I have just   reached my limit of skips and when I listen to crap like Cold Play I just give up on it.

Pretty much the story of my life.

Mustaches are More of a Girl Thing!!!

  Facial hair is the most beautiful thing on girls.

 I mean look at my luscious mustache I probably have more boys in my yard than Kelis, and I don't even have to whip out my milkshakes. You don't even know how good my milkshakes are!! Just kidding, I understand the awesomeness of milkshakes, but what's your secret milkshake formula Kelis?

 Oh dang, she just told me that she'll tell me, but she'll have to charge. I'm broke, so I'm just gonna have to say no thanks. Anyway back to the point, which is my mustache that grows like nobodies business, and I'm not talking about the white girls mustaches that you can barely see because their hair is blond; I'm talking full on bushy mustaches that you can see from miles away. The ones like so..
 
Ooh so sexy. Anyway I usually go to this place where they thread my mustache, so the boys will stay away from me because hey, the longer it grows the more boys show up asking how I get my mustache so prominent and luscious.

 Of course they would love a mustache such as mine obviously but, seriously it's so full and silky. I mean mustaches might as well be the new accessory for your face because of the fact people can see it better. It is one of the most looked at part of your body, and it's showing off your lips and that's a good thing, right?

 Back to the threading I haven't done it in a while so my mustache is especially thick and black, just like the boys like it and well, I decided to get rid of it with my good friend tweezers. These devices are more like torture devices made for a very painful experience and also makes my whole upper lip red with the proof that I went through something completely excruciating. Well it's better than waxing that's apparently another form of torture.

Yeah I've seen videos that made me decide that I'm never going to do such a dreaded thing to myself I mean if you don't know me I'm afraid of pain, so for the second time in this blog post I'm going to have to say no thanks.

Anyway I tweezed and went to my activity something that we do every Wednesday and it was with the boys that particular and we were dancing and getting close to the boys cause you know how we do. Just kidding it was square dancing and since we didn't have enough boys we had some girls that had to dance with other girls. And guess which person was the one getting stuck dancing with other females like myself.

 You guessed it.

So we were rotating and my friend said that it was good I was to be the man because I was more manly than her because of my mustache. Yup she went there and I spent my night dipping, spinning, and putting girls hands on my back all night pretty awesome to have to be the guy, right?

 Wrong, their were moves like the cuddle and well that was just plain awkward, and again I had to put the girl's hands on my back and they were suppose to walk their hands against my back well that wasn't the best thing to be doing on a Wednesday night, but that's what I was doing.

 Well the only pro about this situation was that when I go to church dances and the boy I'm dancing with doesn't know how to swing dance I can lead him around and put him in the cuddle way to often and say that it's how your suppose to dance cause I'm just smooth like that. Just kidding, I'm probably going to bust my best ghetto moves on them breaking it down like so.

Yeah showing those guys whose boss. Actually I'm kidding again I can't do this I mean I think this gif is fake I mean nobody is actually that awesome I mean I'll probably end up doing this.

But no matter what all those boys in the end will fall for my awkwardness and I mean Jake style.

I'm awesome I already know.

Waking Up, The Worst Part of the Day.

I am not a morning person I'm not kidding I get out of bed looking like I just got sucked up and spit out by a tornado. I like to sleep late so I usually hear my sister snoring until I go to sleep we have bunk beds so she sleeps above me and every time she rolls over I can feel it too (what a joy). Anyway when I wake up I have drool all over my face, my blankets are all tangled together, and my hair gets like a fro. My friend Kylie she doesn't have a flaw when she wakes up we went to a camp together for our church and she started fussing with her hair saying that it was so ugly and how she hated it and I'm there looking like this..

Seriously her hair is supermodle-ish when she wakes up it's like in those Pantene commercials when they wake up and their hair is curled beautifully and they say that it's wonderful morning to do something (I never say that I just want the sun to go back down). That girl's face isn't contorted at all with sleep she looks the same night and day I'm not even kidding when my eyes are bloodshot from not sleeping she looks the same, and she didn't sleep either my bunk mate at camp Sid made sure of that. Since the time change I wake up when the sun comes up and I turn right over hoping it will go away for another couple of hours. Then I roll over in my bed and the sun keeps coming so I have to get out of bed now so I start opening windows because we barely have any light in our house and when I open them it's like I turn into a freaking vampire. Then I go all Marceline on everyone.

Yup pretty beautiful I know. That's the same when I go outside when my mom tells me that I have to get out of my hidey hole. I go out and I start to squint it's like a whole other world outside it's like in those movies when they find a portal to wherever and their like "What is this place?" Seriously it's pretty bright and then you get to see the other kids walking around probably also forced out their room by their parents it's perfect. Time to go on a walk with my sister so I have to say farewell.

Flat Sally's Murderer..

When I was about ten I was enrolled in school until fifth grade and now I'm home schooled again but when I was starting my first year of school my teacher Mrs. Locker was presenting a project for my class that she said that I didn't have to do because I just started third grade, but I decided that I would do it anyway.

 It was a flat Stanley project or flat Sally whichever you wanted to do was fine if you haven't read flat Stanley it's a book about a boy that travels around the world and it's his life and adventures and his first adventure was he got flat or something like that I don't remember it exactly but the main point of the project was to send it to a relative or take it somewhere exciting and take pictures of you and the flat sally.

 Mine I was pretty proud of I made it out of paper sure but I thought it was pretty darn impressive because it looked like a female Stanley. I decided to take it to the rodeo where I put it in a purse of mine and soon we were at the rodeo and I was taking pictures with flat sally and I thought that the project would turn out perfect until we went to the petting zoo where I took out my flat Sally and put it half and half in my purse. I started feeding the goats and they seemed excited and ate the food happily, but little did I know that there was a creepy llama stalking flat Sally.

She didn't even get a chance to defend herself and soon I felt a tug and she was decapitated her head being eaten off by that evil llama that was eating her like nobodies business that bloody murder.

 It started to reach into my purse for her body which I snatched away quickly from it's grasp. Sadly she died young I kept her body which later that day got soaked with orange juice. She was one unlucky lady and my project was never finished although my teacher got a good laugh out of the story though so it kind of worked out for everyone except for flat Sally. I bet she's in paper doll heaven though having adventures without me.

She's Not So Crafty!!

When I turn on the TV I seriously lose all respect for the people of this world. There's one channel that shows Canadian TV, and this channel exhibits the exact thing that makes my respect of humanity fall because of my hatred of this one particular show. The name of the vile entertainment is "She's Crafty" although that's the name I assure you she has no talent for crafty crap at all.

 When I say crafty I think of my mom who mod podged everything in our house last year well, at least that was her goal. Let's list some of the things that she did, shall we? Well what my sister actually did my mom just cut out all of the little pieces. The table was mod podged, pictures were mod podged, now our house is pretty much overflowed with many colorful papers that are stuck together with the magic of mod podge.

Yup she seriously went through a faze. Anyway back to the point about the lady who only tells herself She's Crafty. I was flipping through channels trying to find something at least kind of decent and that's when I found this show. What I thought.

So I proceeded to spending my Saturday splayed across the couch with decoration pillows (that my brother's friends fart on) all down my body because I was too lazy to get my blanket and I was cold.

This lady starts talking about bird houses and how to mod podge them and I got all excited and I started telling the screen "hey my mom mod podges" (and yes this is what I do on Saturdays instead of hanging out with people.)

 So as this show goes on it turns out their going to make birdhouses well that's at least what they told me and then they started bringing out already made birdhouses (which is not making them lady) and they start taking out newspaper. But wait it gets worse they start putting the newspaper on the birdhouses, and after an hour of them putting newspaper on freaking birdhouses the whole project turned out looking like this.

Do you see this ugly piece of crap? This is the definition of crafty crap because this a toddler can do this. Heck I can do this and I think I'm in line for making worse crafts ever!!

 The second crafty crap that she made was a table made out of skateboard wheels and glass are you for real lady? You might ask why I was still watching this and the reason is it was either having to change the channel with the remote that I put on our mod podge table which included ruining the stack of pillows on top of me or stay were I was and criticize this lady some more for her hideous crafts. I of course chose the second one of the two. I actually couldn't find the picture of the wretched thing, but it was bad.


Yup completely hideous what is wrong with this lady she is not crafty, so get off the air or actually do what your suppose to do. I'm a judgmental son of a butt okay I'm already aware.

Church Dances. Why Do We Still Have Them??

I love the new technology that has developed over the years but my gaming device of choice would have to be our x-box connect. Our family has never really bought gaming devices, but two years ago they bought an x-box kinect and it was like love at first sight.

Yup my first game that I ever played on it was this game.

This is my favorite game and although I'm really horrible at really doing anything that includes me on my feet it  turns out that a secret talent of mine was dancing I mean who knew? I am like a boss seriously breaking it down Pee Wee Herman style.

Just kidding I actually was more into the kind of songs that you can't dance to in front of guests. Some of the songs included the following: Conceited, Turn me on, Lap dance and many more songs that might not be the best to be dancing to especially not in front of the many windows that let the neighbors see me.

If you haven't read the creepers next door this is what happened I was getting my sexy jerk down when boys outside were watching me on the playground outside my house. Yup creepy.

 Anyway so the other day my friend from church talking and the conversation of church dances came up and my friend said "I can't wait to go to the dances and dance with all the hot boys of the church". This sentence made me crack up with laughter for more reasons than one. Well I guess I'll number them so 1.) they play the crappiest music at dances seriously they play Lean on Me (which you can't dance to), Hannah Montana (which is just a sin), Taylor Swift (which people scream "this is my song" and start awkwardly swaying to the music), and many more horrible tracks that make your ears bleed.

Okay so number 2.) is because there's barely any boys our age and all of the ones that are our age hot is not a word to describe them at all.

 3.) Might be the worse my sister says that all of the girls stay in one corner and the boys stay in the other and the boys are too "shy" to come over and ask the girls to dance I mean come on boys seriously are you that stupid that you can't even ask a girl to dance.

 4.) Is the girls who when the boys actually ask them to dance they say no in the rudest way ever I mean not even making excuses I mean if you're going to decline an invitation do it the right way. Yeah so when your old enough to go to church dances you're probably actually end up doing this.

And this..

Maybe even a little bit of this..

Dancing with myself cause I'm so awesome and stuff.

Why You No Let Me Shower?!?!?

I know that I usually stink, but I promise I do take showers!!

 Despite the occasional yelling secession I have with my mom, I do take showers. I know surprising, right? Anyways today I was getting yelled at for not taking a shower, and then when I finally decided to go I was yelled at for being in the shower. I didn't take to kindly to it.

Yup I'm bringing Ryan Gosling into this!!

 I like my showers and I don't like it when I'm scrubbing my armpits singing rubber ducky, and my sister comes in screaming at me that I've been in the shower for five minutes and have to get out. What I want to say to my family "And you wonder why I never take showers in your line of vision it's because you don't let me enjoy my showers you all are monsters not me".

Gotta get two movies that never stop making sequels so bam!!

Just Kidding (but not about the sequel thing). Anyway every time I go to the shower it's like every one in my family time me can I just take a shower without someone coming in saying "Natalie you've been in there for ten minutes", or "Natalie you've been in there for five minutes", or even "Natalie what's taking you so long you've been in there for two minutes?" Okay the last one isn't true because I don't think that anyone can take a shower that long but by them timing me I feel like I'm being rushed and I do not like to rush my showers.
Nun slap those fools cause Imma thug for real.

Hogwarts slap!! Though I don't want to slap Harry even though I must say he was a complete jerk in some of the last books. I do not have the power to slap anyone so no family member has been hurt in the making of this blog post. Though I do however have the power of speech so I have the right to say.

I love you Psych!! Anyway so now you know not to interrupt me when I take showers or I'm going to have to think of slapping you (oh the horrors) yup cause that's all I have the power to do yay. Now I have to actually take a nap, so I hope you enjoyed my midnight tangent.

The Drama that Comes with Being a Book Nerd!!!

I love it in library books when you find library receipts from other people. Their was a list that I found in a book recently that I was really excited about because this lady (I'm guessing because of the contents of the books) was reading almost everything that I already read and I'm like hooray I have some hope for humanity because someone else likes the books that I do and well it's not often that you see that. Not to brag or anything, but I like pretty hipster books the kind that you read and you tell everyone about and then later on they start telling you about it and I start doing things Snape style.

I mean seriously it's like people don't believe me when I say I have a good book that you'll probably will like I'm not really reliable doing anything else, but books are my forte and I can hook you up peeps you know I got your backs when it comes to this sort of thing. Anyway so the other day one of my friends are like "Heavens to Betsy, Natalie I just read the best book ever called Unwind it's by Neal  Shusterman and it's just the greatest I mean seriously you have to read it I just got the second book this week and I'm soooo excited." I've been telling her about this book for months and what wanted to do.

.
Good bye sucker. But what I really did was...

Yup really freaking annoying. When she talks about it I slowly inch away from her as she goes on a tangent how awesome it is while in the background being like..

Just walk it off Natalie. Anyway back to the whole point I have recently read a book called the Bad Apple which was really amazing very thought out and something that i loved was that it had humor this day and age authors take themselves too seriously and they don't think it's very important to have the reader laugh a little. Now to get back to the point I liked it very much so on the contrary to this I also read something that made me squirm. It was a book called Fly Away that I got for free of of Goodreads and I really didn't enjoy, so I gave it a one out of five.

 Not a bad rating for such a book I thought, and because she gave it to me for free I also wrote a review something that all authors ask for when they give you a free book so I told her what I thought about it. Disappointing, disturbing, weird, unrealistic, cruel, something that I would never read again, just my opinion something that she wanted me to write I mean she wouldn't have sent it to me if she didn't think that I would write a review.

 Anyway this all ended with her saying that she was sorry that I didn't like the book in a message. Yup she seemed pretty heart-broken by me not liking it. And that's when I told my mom about this whole fiasco who said that I shouldn't have done what I did that I should of been more diplomatic about it and just said it wasn't my type of book, but the way I see it is that she asked for my opinion and I gave it to her it that so wrong of me?

 I am a picky reader I'm not even going to lie but was it completely out of line of me to give the world my point of view about it? I think not, but maybe I'm just defending myself for my own actions. I'm a fourteen year old so who even cares what I think and everyone else in the comments loved it, so there's obviously something wrong with me anyway something shouldn't ask for something and not expect to receive it just saying. Anyway that's my tyrant for today so I think I'm going to go and eat lunch bye.

My Life is a Fart

Every time I leave the house I get hurt I'm not even kidding either big or small I always manage to harm myself. I don't even know how some of this crap happens yesterday I went to drop off our recycling and I got a huge cut down my arm because I reached across a can and it cut me.

 When I'm inside nothing bad happens to me so do I like to stay inside, heck yeah. If I didn't have the safety of a house to hide in everyday I probably would be already dead by my own stupidity. I mean even in the most innocent places I get hurt!!

Last summer I slammed my own finger into the door and since I'm delayed reaction I stood there looking at what I had just done. Right in front of McDonald's (yay) we dropped off my older sister and my mom wanted me in the front seat, so I got out and I closed my own fingers in the door. Later that week I had to go to the emergency room where they took off my nail and put two stitches in my finger which the price came out to be 2,000 dollars for my parents who keep reminding me of my idiot mistake.

That's a heck of a lot of money and so they use me as an example to not be as stupid as me. What a joy I am I know. Also during the summer my sister peer pressured me to come outside and play with her badminton a game that I'm actually not that bad at so I accepted but that's when a cat came and my sister started to pet it and it seemed perfectly fine that if I were to pet it to so I leaned over and had at it.

 That's when it bit me I screamed and pulled back but the cut was deep I mean a couple of inches more and it would've hit my vein. I had to go to the doctors and they said that I had to get rabies shots if I didn't find the same cat that bit me. Well I saw it walking in the streets a few days later and it wasn't dead, so the doctor said that if it wasn't already dead that I would live too. Yay I'm not dead hooray!! my life is so ridiculous makes myself mentally do this..



Again America isn't even in the same league as me in the stupid zone. I'm just going to go and stay in my bed all day and all night, so I won't have to relive any of these stupid disasters ever again. I always say...



\

Kung Fu Fails...

Despite my lack of coordination I use to do kung fu. Yup, if someone ever came out at me I could honestly say "I know kung foo be afraid sucker". Though my skills were limited to kicking and doing the splits. I was actually very flexible I could bend easily and I liked it. I could put my feet to my head, I could do cartwheels, and I could kiss my butt, a badge that I wore proudly after my sister said that I could do no such thing (you're welcome America for showing the world kissing your own butt is possible ). I was great at the stretching although when it came to actually doing moves like kicking and punching I was horrible. I seriously might be a worse athlete than this guy..

 

He didn't even have a chance!! Anyway I once fell over when kicking air. You heard right while kicking I fell right over in front of Master Jason (the lead kung fu master my wax-on wax-off dude), and the boy that I liked, and his dad. AWKWARD!!!

 Master Jason kind of had a hobby and that was making fun of me. He actually made fun of me when my class was doing lines of punching and kicking and people were lined up in front of me and I kicked the protege boy in the butt. Master Jason got a good laugh out of that because I was right in front of him when I did it and the boy did the biggest grunt in history of grunts.

 Yet another thing was every time I exercised I start to pass gas (otherwise known as farting or cutting the cheese) and in front of everyone I would pass some big ones and everyone would stop what they were doing to look at me. Yup I'm just that good at completely defacing my own ego the world isn't even in the same league of awkward as me. What I always feel like when crap like this happens..



Oh, Heavenly Father why did you make me like this!!! WHY!!! What I want to do to awkwardness forever every time it shows up in my life (which is often)..



Pimp slap that sucker!! Oh wait my wretched kung fu "skills" won't let me. I had good help at the studio they were teaching at but my stupid body that won't let me do anything without something going awry. The outfits we were suppose to wear was a t-shirt with black pants that hung loosely around my legs and waist therefore falling occasionally, but when I grew a little older (and many bananas later) they fit quite well.

 They were comfortable and I was there stretching and talking with some friends that were as uncoordinated as I was when Master Jason said it was time to do the splits. Something I had grown accustom to, so I steadily changed position.

 Then there was a sound like a bunch of stitches ripping at once and the hole butt of my pants (which were now quite snug) ripped and everyone could see my hello-kitty underwear. I was out of there fast but everyone saw and I was humiliated though not long after they moved down town, and my parents told me that I could no longer go. Thank heavens I was saved the day they moved and now I happily sit inside without ripping my pants in front of a bunch of boys. Yay happy days!!

THE BANANA BEAST...

Despite my slim figure I have quite and appetite and being home schooled does not help I eat snacks and the snack of my choice is Bananas.


You go awesome banana man!! Anyway I love bananas I usually eat a bunch and a half each day and I know that if I go outside I would be eaten alive by the mosquito's because of the potassium, but because of my lack of going outdoors (with the exception of getting the mail) I don't get one bite. Someone ask me if I like bananas I'm like..


Who doesn't like yellow fruit shaped like a boomerang, seriously who? I especially like them with some bread fresh from the bread machine with some peanut butter and sliced bananas. I hate it when were out of bananas I have a freak-out moments when I hear their gone.

Then I get to the stage of panic.

But then it turns out that theirs one hiding behind my microwave then I react much differently.

 My brother also likes them so that's problematic because they run out faster and well I hate to not have my bananas there for my morning snack, and lunch snack, and dinner snack, heck I'm a goner without them. I love me some bananas and I'm not afraid to hide them from my big bro. no matter how large in the barge he is. Anyway the other day I was eating a banana (of course) and my brother told my mom that I was eating bananas again and that I should be punished.

 Well my mom did nothing about it (got to love your mom) and I got away unscathed. She said that she shouldn't be telling me to not eat fruits so take that bro. miniature party.

Break it down banana style!! Yup doing a jig and stuff gonna go and eat a banana now all this writing has me hungry.

The Curse Of Akwardness!!!

Ah awkwardness the actions of others that makes the world turn away in horror as someone does an act that's unspeakably weird. This appears in media but more often in real life and it usually happens when you don't expect it (curse you sneaky awkward moments!!!).

 Anyway these situations can be leveled in different stages of awkward such as the cringe, the I can't even look at this, and the I can't look away it's so unfortunately awkward. And lets be honest we all have those experiences that you just want to erase your memory because the thing you did was so painful to think of.

Unfortunately I have a lot of these experiences and every time I think of them I just want to dig myself a hole and live in hiding for the rest of my life well I kind of do this, but instead of digging myself a hole I just go into my room (and my mom wonders why I don't like to go outside of my room well this is part of the reason). Anyway I had one of those cringe-worthy experiences and it was not pleasant.

 I was cleaning my church at 7:00 in the morning and I got trash duty so while picking up every rooms trash I started to sing and if you don't know me I have one of the worst singing voice on planet earth cause I got it from my momma. Seriously though my voice sucks anyway back to the story I came to the kitchen and I started dancing and I started singing sugar lumps by flight of the conchords (not the greatest song to be singing in the chapel but hey what can I think that songs hilarious) click the link if you haven't watched it.

 <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_ozSSseCh3U" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>.

When I got to saying "it's just my sugar lumps bum bum bum they look so fine that's why I keep them in the front" (again not the greatest thing to be singing in a church) it turned out that someone was in the room and it was the boy that I liked and he was looking at me as if I were the weirdest person on earth I started to blush and then I said "um hey" and he said hi and that's when say I have to go and I pick up the trash and I start to slowly walk away.

 Yup I said it was awkward and now he knows what kind of music I listen to and he knows that I'm weird. So write an awkward experience below if you had worst cause I know that I have but that's my most recent one, so I thought I would share it with you. I hope you enjoy my pain.

The Problem with Romantic Comedies

 I am a nerd like in all of the great books and movies and I don’t know I’m beautiful like the main characters of all the romantic comedies I watch and in the YA romance books that I read the only reason that boys can pass me up is if I’m really not pretty and well that wouldn’t be a shocker but it appears in all of these media that boys like girls that are completely insecure and hey if that’s what it takes to get a man I’ll play that game ;). But the point in me saying this is that in all of the movies it’s only the nerdy girl who gets the hot boy in the end because he likes the girl for her personality, but in the real world there’s no coincidences, no hot boy that would ever want a nerd girl (unless for some exceptions but I’m trying to make a point here so just listen), and no super nice guy that’s hot and doesn’t have one flaw. Seriously girls if that’s what we’re looking for we are going to die alone and that’s a fate that I have already resolved to, but if we look at the media either books, TV, or movies those colossal romantic gestures that happen in them are never going to happen so stop waiting. Your prince charming isn’t just going to just look at you and be like I want to be with this girl for the rest of my life because that’s impossible because if you don’t even know the person and you say you’re in love with them you are a fool (and I’m not sorry for the harshness either people if you think like this you need to be straightened out of this mind set for real). Listen I’m fourteen years old and I’m all in with watching heart-warming romantic movies, but ladies don’t let movies up your expectations for men because it’s fictional for a reason and nobody’s perfect including yourself so don’t even try to find someone perfect because when you do it’s like looking for a normal person at comic-con. One of the many things that people do for “who they love” is they lower their standards like in Greece which was completely disappointing.  Something else that is a peeve of mine is a man isn’t going to just show up at the airport begging for you to stay, hate to say it but in real life guys just go to their backup girl or girls and they move on with their lives and as much as you don’t want to think about it soon you will move on too, and if you’re a romantic comedy kind of person you would know that this happens a lot in these kinds of movies. So girls don’t be fooled by the awesomeness of realistic fiction because it’s more fantasy than anything and would you rather have a man that’s only exists in books or in movies or a real person that you can have to yourself for eternity (personally I would rather have the fictional man because come on they’re better than real life but hey I gave you a choice so choose).  And this would not be a blog post without a gif or pic. so here you go!!

Be prepared to buy lots and lots of boxes when your prince charming never shows up!!  

 

  

The Weird Sleeper...

I stay awake late at night and I'm talking 4am people, so yeah I'm a night person but the point is that every time I hear a noise it scares the crap out of me. I'm usually either writing or reading at this time of night but I never get use to the sounds that my sister makes. I mean she yells at me in her sleep, she snores like a freaking elephant, and she rolls over a lot. I know that I drool in my sleep but it's not hurting anyone I also do this..

When I wake up my whole beds a mess, but hey that's not scaring the crap out of anyone is it? I think not!! So last night I was just as usual writing and watching a romantic comedy in my bed and we have bunk beds so she's just above me and she starts screaming and I'm like what the heck. I took off my headphones to see what she was saying and she's like "YOU READ TOO MUCH STOP READING!!!" When you hear your sister in her sleep telling you that you know you read way too much. But the weird thing is that she just rolls over and starts snoring again. Sometimes I just want to do this to her..

Yeah then she'll really be surprised. Just Kidding!! (at least you hope :) Anyway for all those people out there who have to deal with your whoever who snores a lot then I feel your pain.

Panda Bear don't care!! Common courtesy kids, don't do this at home!! Thank You!!