The "Art" of Trying Too Hard

 I know people who try really hard to be something. I know girls that wake up at four in the morning to make sure their makeup is just so. Then there's girls like me who don't try at all. I wake up in the morning and put a shirt on with the occasional yawn I brush my teeth. Then I'm ready for seminary.

 I just don't care in the morning. Don't blame me for not caring at all in the afternoon at all or the night. I'm just not that kind of girl that wants to impress guys badly. I look "natural" in the morning and pretty much every time of the day. Which means I'm sporting that hairless gorilla look all the time. Actually  I might as well be king kong in the morning because I'm freaking angry at every human being that gets in my way and I look unnatural. It's a true fact of my life. And this look always manages to bring guys in. This statement is completely sarcastic. If you didn't catch it before you are now fully informed.

 Either it's laziness or my lack of money I haven't ever put on makeup. I know it's a crime in some people's books, but my mom doesn't buy makeup for me and I don't want to buy my own. Also again I'm lazy and from what I hear it takes forever to put on and take off. Also a girl I know who's like me which means she's absolutely perfect. I'm just kidding she doesn't like to wear makeup either the only difference is that she's pretty enough to pull it off. Anyways she said that if you always wear makeup that nobody will recognize your real face. Also that people will expect you to wear makeup all the time.

 I believe that's true though some people cake it on. A little bit of makeup is okay girls, but when you put too much on it looks bad. Everyone knows that's not your actual face and it's just gunk covering what you call a face. There's not even one of my guy friends that say that they like girls with layers and layers of makeup. One the other hand all of my guy friends are complete nerds and drool over fictional characters though truth be told I've had my fair share of doing that too. If you've ever read some of the books I do you'd be doing it too because fictional characters are so much better than real people. Sorry but it's the truth.

 Also there's the girls who flirt. The flirting that I've witnessed is shameless and really embarrassing for three people; spectators, the guy, and the girl flirting. It's actually really sad that these girls have to throw themselves on guys to get any attention. It's also sad that girls act perfectly incapable of forming sentences without saying "like" a million times. Actually the other day I counted how many times one of my friends said "like" in a sentence. Let's just say it was more than a couple. It's bugs me that girls have to twirl their hair and act like complete shameless hussies to get anyone to notice them.

 Look at me I don't even try to get guys. Oh wait don't look at me guys don't like me. Woops. But at least I don't act like a complete 'horn dog.' I don't know why but this phrase makes me laugh so hard. It's hilarious but it's seriously what girls are acting like. Just stop girlfriends it's weird and awkward when you act like horn dogs. Okay that's all I just wanted to get that off my back. Ooh but I have a good song if you want to hear it. Oh wait I'm not giving you a choice.

Weekend Bliss.

 I just went to the library (you're so very welcome for this information) let's just say that it was quite amusing to see the shock and horror on the librarian's face when I finally decided to check out all of them. I haven't been to the library in a while, though I won't say the reason is because I was "busy." Actually I can say that I've been anything but busy. But let's get back to the point shall we? I've been reading a lot online, and watching the newly found cable source that I have just gotten in my house. Also I've been attending to my demanding little brother who is now four months old.

 Let's just say it was a relief when I went away to a camp, and I started catching up on my actual book reading. Don't get me wrong I enjoy the many free books that I get off of various websites, but I also enjoy a nice long book that I can read in my bed and just doze off whenever. I enjoy free time and I've been getting a whole lot of it this past weekend.

 First of all Monday was "Columbus Day" which meant that school was off, but because of me I got to do math anyways. Yay! I'm being fascist if you didn't notice, but now you know! Anyways I don't have a lot of work, so I went to the library which probably a shock to the librarians. They probably thought I died or something because of my lack of coming the past few months. Well the fiends were wrong and had the honor of checking out my large pile of books. They're welcome.

 Also on Thursday I left to a camp. It was a boy and girl camp. RAWR! Just kidding there was nothing going on between me and any of the guys. Get your minds out of the gutter. Though I met a lot of "cool" people.  I'm using the term cool very lightly because in reality they were nerdy as heck, so of course I got along with them well. We did a lot of awesomeriffic stuff and well it was fun, and to be honest I didn't really want to come home. Though now that I'm home I miss a buttload of the people that I was with I still manage to be happy being in my humble abode.

 I came back from that camp on Saturday and had full on diarrhea because of the food served at the camp. Let's just say that it wasn't very pleasant and I had to hold it in until I came home. What can I say I'd like to keep the image that girls don't fart or crap. Though I did feel a whole lot better when I came home and got to take a long nice dump. I probably lost some pounds too from all of the feces that I released. Nothing like talking about your bladder issues to the whole internet.

 Anyways that was pretty much my weekend. Also I went to church that wasn't very eventful because, hey, it is church. So now it's time to share the very many books picked out by yours truly. Let's just say I'm already finished with two and I just got them yesterday afternoon. I also managed to cry so much that my eyes became dry and I had to take a bath because I was all wet with tears. It was really sad, okay? Don't judge me I'm not a complete heathen. Though it was a kids book it made me sob like a freaking baby.

I don't know why I was so emotional with this book, but I was okay? Again don't judge me. These are the other books that I've checked out. Enjoy!




I know it's a lot. I have to read all of these in two weeks. All of their covers are so pretty though you can't blame me for being automatically drawn to them. Well book lovers that's it for now I'll come back in two weeks with updates. Yay for you!

CRINGE ATTACK

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Story of my life.

Karaoke Time at the Grocery store!

Singing is a "skill" for our family. The reason why I put those quotation marks on skill is because I use the term very, very lightly. It's more like a disease. Let's just put it this way, we're allergic to bad music we break out in singing. It's worse than breaking out with pimples trust me it's kind of horrifying for other patrons when you're in the middle of Krogers and "Muskrat love" comes on and you're only chance is to sing and dance around to it Karaoke style. This is kind of what I look like (despite this girls whiteness:)


 Dancing to "Mrs. Jones" is hard enough without having other people watch you do it. I go with the awkward shuffle on that song, and pretending I have a microphone while my mom picks up cheese. Yes we usually do it on the dairy isle because that's where you can hear the music the best. Well that's at least what we do for our local Krogers that we seem to never get enough of. Seriously I have nine people in my family and it's survival of the fittest when it comes down to food. Now that I think of it it's survival of the fittest for everything around my house.

 Anyways there's always that one Colby Caillat song that you try to resist, and then you fall into temptations, and start screeching at the top of your longs the lyrics to "I do" even though you despise the song with a deep passion after your brother claimed it to be his favorite song. Oh never mind is that just me? Don't be hatin' peeps there's seriously temptation that comes laced in that song I swear. If it doesn't affect you it's probably because of the fact that you're an emotionless robot in which I disown you as my viewer. I'm just kidding. Or am I? Bum Bum!

 Okay guys I really am just kidding, but there's always those songs that you furiously try to avoid, but it's everywhere and you can't help yourself, but to start singing the despised song. Yeah I have been plagued with listening to Justin Timberlake's "Mirrors." Girl, you already know that I'll be like "ugh this song sucks" one minute and the next I'm singing "It's like I'm a mirror. The mirror's staring back at me." Seriously every time that song turns onto the radio it's like I'm sucked into a trance it's freaky because then it's stuck in your head after. Tricky Justin Timberlake is probably hypnotizing me because seriously I don't know how you can hate a song so much and then know every single line of lyrics that's involved with the whole song, and try to avoid criticizing your friends when they say the wrong words. I'm weird I've acknowledged this fact of my life and have embraced it, so get the heck over it already so we can move on. Thank you have a nice day!

 And then there's the really cringe worthy moments in your singing that involves a whole lot of people in one room and all of them stopping to hear the wretched whale noises coming out of your mouth. Yeah awkward especially when everyone starts laughing at you when you stop singing. That's me every morning. I know I suck at singing always, but in the morning it's like three million times worse. I didn't know that was possible until I started up really early and having to sing in seminary. If you don't know what seminary is by now it's fine just don't even ask you don't want to know.
 
 I started remembering doing all these things after Dan is not on fire reminded me what I probably shouldn't be thinking about. Now if you don't know who Dan is not on fire is than you must be living under a rock or a hard place because it's kind of hard to hide his awesomeness. Bask in his gloriousness because I'm going to put up a gif that will blow your mind.

I kind of love him. He's awesome. So if you want to check out the Youtube video he's in that has made me think of all this bull shark that I've done in the pass then check him out on this wonderful link right here.
Never mind I'll just share it because it's being a ploopers and decided to not work. :)
So yeah it's all true what he says. It happens to me all the time. Story of my life. That is all fair maidens you too random citizen.

Half Price Halloween Candy!

 So fall is here. Yay! Who doesn't like things dying? But seriously I love fall. It's my second favorite season of the year. My first being winter because who in Texas doesn't like the one time of year that actually has decent weather patterns, and you actually have the opportunity to go outside and not have a heat flash.

 Anyways fall is when Halloween addicts strike. There's the decoration of people's houses, overpriced candy that you can get for a quarter of the price less after Halloween is pulled off the shelves, and then there's the people who are too overweight and dress really inappropriate to take their kids trick-or-treating. Then there's me who stays inside, locks all the doors, and tries to ignore the constantly ringing of the doorbell. Of course I have my Halloween traditions and those are sitting inside and watching "Charlie Brown's Halloween." It's tradition what can I say?

 There's that. I don't go trick-or-treating or support it. It's pretty much a day that a bunch of pedophiles (though I'm not talking about all adults) can give out gross arse dollar store candy to a bunch of little kids. I'm not about that life, and also I should be in high school, so I shouldn't be trick-or-treating anyways though kids my age still go and beg for candy. In my perspective it's just pathetic behavior. If you want freaking candy just get it after Halloween when every piece of candy not sold before Halloween goes on sale. That's what I do.


 Maybe I'm just saying this kind of stuff because I was raised differently. I was actually raised not trick-or-treating. I have done it once and I will say I do enjoy getting free candy, but the thing is fourteen year olds and up should not be knocking on your door expecting candy. Seriously people, seriously? What has this world come to? The holiday is for little kids not for pimply teenagers. Once you're not cute and small anymore than you shouldn't go trick-or-treating. For real though.

 I find it also irritating that people in my church actually want to have a get together activity to go trick-or-treating. And I'm pretty sure they're not doing any service to the kids who are actually of age to go trick-or-treating.

 Then there's those people who insist on destroying others property. I'm talking about T-peeing, egging, and whatever else they decide to do to completely ruin the outside of your home. I don't understand this to say the least. W.T.F.S (what the fudge sticks is what this means of course.)

 And the least of all that I like about Halloween is eighteen year olds and up wearing really inappropriate "clothes". Did you note the quotation marks on the word clothes. They're there for a reason and the reason is that it's more like little skimpy pieces of fabric that barely covers anything. Seriously I see these girls walking around like their milkshakes are all that, but in reality it's just bringing creepers up in their yards. And then they look at the creepers like they've committed the crime, but if you dress like that you kind of get what you deserve. End of story.

 I'm not saying any of these things to offend anyone it's just that seriously Halloween is a kids activity and if you think you can make life decisions and you're an adult at fourteen, and you know what's best for yourself more power to you. But if you think that you know best and that you're old and ready to make decisions than don't even go trick-or-treating because if you say all that stuff about how mature you are then say you're going trick-or-treating. Witches please.
 

But really guys. For rizzles.

 

Wattpad Makes Me Happy!

 Lately I've been sick. And no I'm not talking about the good kind of sick like the kind you call your friends when they do something awesome I'm talking the bad kind of sick. The kind that there's boogers coming out of your nose and you look and smell like death. What's that death doesn't have a smell? Yes it does because that's exactly how I smell and it's not too pleasant.

 Anyways being sick means that you get to stay home from school which is a plus though the fact is I'm home schooled so I pretty much did what I always do. Read. Yeah It's pretty much the best thing to pass the time, and it's quite educational. I've actually have gotten my outstanding vocabulary from books. I guess you can say that I'm nothing without books and well you can thank them for my awesomeness.

 But lately I haven't been reading just any books. Noo cause I'm special I've been reading online books. It's because a friend of mine recommended Wattpad did I start an obsession that I'll probably never get over. Seriously this is what I've been spending night and day on and to be honest I'm not very proud of it. Though what the heck I can do it because I don't have a life so there's that.

 So Wattpad is for just regular people can just write their stories and it's all fine and great, but the thing is the website is so they can upload whenever they freaking want. So there you are waiting for the next chapter for weeks or days or months. It all feels the same because it kills you inside to wait for the next chapter.

 It's true I've gotten into a bunch of these books and they're not complete so I feel like I'm dying when the person decides not to update their freaking story. Seriously I lay around the house groaning and grunting occasionally when someone talks to me. Then I get on it to check if whoever it is has gotten online and posted when I get into other books that look long enough, but in an hour I'm done with that book and I'm waiting for that person to update.

 This happens over and over and it just kills me inside to read a book and for it to be incomplete because my heart shatters and isn't complete without that book being complete. It's completely true. I wait and wait and some of my favorite books on Wattpad still haven't been updated. This makes me sad inside and I just become a depressed ball of negative energy.

 Though I hate this to happen to me I am indeed writing a book on Wattpad so if you want to check it out I won't mind. http://www.wattpad.com/story/7988076-cruelty Yeah that's right I'm shamelessly advertising my book so what are you going to do about it? That's write nothing. Haha I put write instead of right. I'm hilarious.

 Anyways there's this one book called "I love to hate you" and girl, man, persons I freaking love this book. It makes me laugh and cry and overall it's super funny and enjoyable and surprises me. There's a twist that blew my mind, but of course it isn't finished. I know the lady who writes it is really trying to update fast, but I read faster than she can update.

 I still love her though for writing something so hilarious and crazy. Seriously I'm jealous of her mad writing skills. If you want to check it out just click on this link right here. http://www.wattpad.com/story/4501478-i-love-to-hate-you Anyways I would recommend it if you like to be humored to the extent of tears. Now on the other hand there's a lot of cussing, so if you don't like that kind of stuff than don't read it. I love it even though there's the whole cussing thing that I don't like it's still a great book.

 So there's that. Okay and also there's a book called "Last Virgin Standing." Actually someone told me that it was good, but by the title I was a little critical and didn't want to read it. I read the summary, and I didn't know what to think until...

BAM!! Awesome central and I decided that I liked it and the liking factor turned up and now I love it. Now this book isn't finished either though I hope it will be soon because darn I freaking can't stand not knowing what's happening.

 It's just refreshing and there's really no profanities and I just overall enjoyed it because it's nice, and well the girl still keeps to her standards which is awesome and made me love it even more. So I would invite all of you to read that.  http://www.wattpad.com/story/1706371-the-last-virgin-standing

 Also I know what all of you are thinking. And that is if I've turned into a total priss when I started reading these Wattpad books because all of them are romantic and crap, but the truth is that I've actually have started liking these books because of the main characters. They're just so enjoyable I can relate to the characters and these books give me that fuzzy feeling inside okay. And you know I like the goose bumps that they give me. I mean who doesn't like fuzzy feelings and if you don't you are probably a soulless ginger and therefore it's understandable for your lack of feelings.

 I liked a lot of other books (you see that d at the end of like, exactly) though the feelings for them changed when they got extremely unrealistic. Seriously the authors took it too far and it just turned into crap the runny kind that pretty much ruins your life. I mean I beg for them online to upload and then they do and it's obvious they rushed it. I can see that they tried, but they didn't put in the heart and passion in it therefore making it just words that are meaningless.

 So in the end it's sad that they make it like that because it's all realistic and relate able and then they had to ruin it. And kill your favorite character in the process. Oh wait never mind that's the lady who writes Harry Potter. Though in her defense it wasn't suppose to be realistic actually it was extremely unrealistic because it's outwardly fictional, but you get my point.

 And though I whine about people not updating I don't do it either. There's that. I seriously try and then when I'm about to update I conclude that my writing is crap. That or my computer completely shuts off and I'm left to an empty screen that hasn't saved my writing. Yeah this happens a lot surprisingly and I never learn my lesson because I'm a derp-fish. That's all you can go live your life now that you've had your share of me today. :)

Baking Like a Boss!

 I like to think I'm a culinary artist. Okay, so I've made a lot of really bad dishes one of them including chocolate cupcakes that tasted as good as crap, which probably very appetizing as you could imagine. Unless you're into stuff like that, or if you're in a third war country which I don't apply in either category, so I'll stick with regular cupcakes. I know, seriously I make the best decisions ever I mean seriously.

 Anyways recently I haven't been baking recently since my little sister has taken over in that department and to be honest she isn't horrible at it. Of course I would never tell her that because she's my sister and all that crap and I think there's an unspoken rule beyond all the world knowing you don't compliment your siblings.

 So I've told you about seminary and how nobody wants to be there, but I decided to use my awesomely awesome baking skills to make some brownie cheesecake bars. Yeah I'm awesome like that you don't have to keep reminding me gosh I know I'm popular. Anyways one of my teachers was having like a really hard time remembering really anything so we ended early which was a relief because usually we leave the class late every single freaking day. But since we ended early my teacher decided to make us all read scriptures.

 I try not to resort to having to read scriptures at six in the morning, so you can imagine how relieved I was to have those brownies it was one huge excuse to stop from having to read scriptures. Thank heavens I decided to do it on Thursday. Anyways when I said I had cheesecake brownies you should have seen how everyone's head just snapped in my direction. Seriously I was worried for them they could have gotten whiplash from how fast they turned.

 The point of this story is that I made people's day. I mean I was like a superhero to them, and I was pretty proud. Also the guy that I liked started flirting with me which wasn't a bad addition. And it kind of sort of made my morning that a guy started flirting with me because of my scrumptious brownies.

I was also told by a person that I knew was in my class, but I haven't actually met and I don't know personally that I was perfect. Okay let me quote this girl "Natalie you're so perfect! Blah Blah Blah." I put the blah blahs because, I'll be honest I stopped listening to the brute after she called me perfect. I will admit it was a compliment, but it just made me kind of pissy.

Sorry I don't know maybe there's something wrong with me, but it was obvious that she was just sucking up to me to get brownies and it just made me mad. I mean it's obvious what she wants I'm not completely oblivious. So why didn't she just ask for it instead of sucking up? Again maybe there's just something wrong with me. Never mind you and I both know there's already something wrong with me, but you get my point.

 So going back to the whole baking theme because I somehow always manage to get off topic I don't know how my brain is just a scramble of random things, and it really shows when I write. My sister was baking cake for my brother's birthday and she almost set aflame the house. It was lovely especially when I woke up to my evening nap to the smell of burning butts.

 Yeah she didn't even notice that the bottom of the oven was on fire. Though the house didn't burn down (which was pretty nice if you ask me) we did get cake, and she didn't set that aflame so that was a plus. Cake is good the end.

 


Cake bring piece to all nations. See what I did there? That's how you play on words playa! Any who I feel like all of you beautiful people reading this post wanted to know that right now I want cake. And now since someone invented something as glorious and holy as cake in a cup you can have cake in fourty seconds. Note to people who invented this:
I love you!!