Friday, February 14, 2014

Bangs.... Flattereth me not

 So I got bangs...

 That happened.

 Now when you think of bangs you think of cute 'girl next door' look that flatters every girl on the face of the planet, and while that's fine of you to think just look at my particular 'banging situation' (see what I did there?) and you won't exactly be thinking about cute things like puppies and rainbows or even that adorable girl that has always been in your life. Though I don't admit it I don't particularly enjoy this thing that gets in my eyes frequently now. It's like cousin It has decided to sit on my head and the second after I push some hairs away there's always more to replace the 'void.' Also if you don't know what or who cousin It is than let's do a blast from the past:
 He's with me now chill. Adam's Family pretty much my childhood which probably makes me a weird kid but I don't care!! Okay I care a little but still.

 Now because I keep getting off track let's go over what we just talked about shall we? What I should look like:

 What my mom says I actually look like:

  And no not even the semi-attractive person to the left. No, I can't possibly be able to pull of bangs that well. According to my all-glorious mother I look like the gorgeous goofy character making the beauteous face to the right.

 Now we got the description down on myself (yay) let's talk about this charming little "adventure" to the barber shop that got most (yeah not even all of them!!) of the hairs on my forehead chopped and my ego to go to it's all-time low which isn't that bad saying other people who are not as fortunate as mwa say my ego is incredibly large for a 5ft. 4 little girl. So let's get back to the point (I apologize I tend to ramble and not be focused on something for large amounts of, ooh a unicorn!!) But pretty much the whole experience started with me wanting bangs. It's quite a natural wish for a fourteen or however the heck older or younger you are than me because let's be real, bangs don't have a time limit cause that shiz be forever.

  I'm in the barber shop being a good girl sitting alone due to a certain someone deciding to sit in the car due to her (and I quote) "ratchet hair" and unflattering (in my opinion sorry, Lauren) Mexican peasant dress she scored at the thrift store which usually has pretty good deals but this was and is not one of them I assure you that. And I went up to the Asian (stereotypical I know right?) person at the front who I guess was going to cut my hair and she started by asking repetitively if I had gone there before and that she needed my phone number (and I don't believe she will need it due to the fact I'm probably never going back there.)

 And I think it's safe to say that five minutes into the whole experience and I'm 1.) Trying to find a way out of getting my glorious hair chopped off and 2.) Becoming completely and utterly irritated.

 What can I say I'm not a patient person. Despite the fact I have six very infuriating things I call siblings I still do not manage my anger management problems nor do I try to. And two minutes after that I was sitting in one of those saloon type chairs the lady lobbing off my hair and then ten minutes later I had kind of sideways bangs that were jagged and the more the lady said "side bangs are in this year. All your friends will be jealous!! You pretty you pretty like this" I was more and more sure that I looked worse than when we started. Then when I pay freaking fifteen dollars for a crappy job I leave to find my older sister still in the car telling me how horrible I look.

 So I go in for round two...

 Yay.

 Okay that whole story despite it being 100% true was a bit on the exaggerated side. What can I say I have thing for theatrics. Though all and all I do kind of sort of like my hair despite the fact I look like a four year old and a goofy character I  can live with it. And if not I'll just pin it back so I guess my problems aren't that bad.

 Also it's Valentine's day. Yup. That's pretty much enough said there because of my complete and utter lack of a boyfriend though who said I wanted one.





 So if you're single and out there know you're not the only loser on the planet because obviously I have more problems than you. Gosh stop being so selfish you fiend. Anyways I hope I actually made the day that you remember that nobody loves you, better, and that you laugh if only just a little at my fail jokes, and the beautiful gifs that I have hand selected (just for you) above. You're welcome (insert creepy stalker face here.)

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