Now this might look like a made up word, and might get the red squiggly line under it anytime that I write it, but I'm afraid that it is a serious disease in our society!! Our butts are deciding to go against humanity and they've resolved to, *sucks in a breath dramatically*, START EATING OUR PANTS!!!
Terrifying I know.
Okay that was suppose to be funny, but there's also the aspect that it is a serious problem especially with bathing suits and shorts that are, so excruciatingly small that the pockets on them are longer than the shorts themselves!! Thought truthfully I don't find those to look in any way comfortable, and I'm all about that comfort life.
Yup I'm a hipster wearing those basketball pants twenty-four-seven and rocking it like a pro. But I guess some people don't want to become like me and actually want to be 'fashionable.' I guess there pulling the 'dare to stand out' crap because let's be honest who doesn't want to be like me, and wear basketball pants and t-shirt that I always seem to be sporting? Okay don't answer that. Though it should be the official outfit of Texas because it is winter time yet my house is still being air conditioned and all of the fans are on...
That's good ole' Texas for ya'.
Anywho I find that wherever I go someone is walking sideways and "trying" (note the quotation marks) to be discreet about their wedgies. Yeah honey you're not fooling anyone everyone can see you, and your pants that are so far up your arse (excuse my french) that you might as well be wearing nothing. Just do yourself and everyone around you a favor, and make a pact that if you wear those kinds of shorts to at least have the dignity to wear a long shirt. Even though it looks like you have nothing under that shirt it's better than everyone seeing your might-as-well-be-bare-butt.
Also why do some people wear super tight shorty-shorts in the middle of winter, and then they're like "it's sooooo cold can I borrow your sweater." Well if you actually dressed for the season then you wouldn't be shivering like a leaf. Good gracious why do people do this? Let me just let you in on a little secret.
IF IT'S COLD DRESS LIKE IT!!
Also if you didn't dress for the occasion that is winter then at least have the guts to suck it up, and not be whining to everyone, and making everyone around you that actually dressed appropriate feel bad because of your lack of clothes.
Now that I let all that out I have to say....
HAPPY NEW YEAR YA' FILTHY ANIMALS!!!
That's how you pole dance like a pro. And though I didn't like the hunchback of notre dame I have to comment on the gracefulness of this guy's skills. Anyways I hope you have an awesome new year peeps!! I'm out.
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