Leverage Has Ruined Me...

 Yesterday was, as usual, a "very warm" day in Texas, so of course my friend and I had no choice but to go swimming, obviously. So she invited me to her neighborhood pool because mine 1.) is full of duck crap because some genius decided to put a neighborhood pool right next to a duck pond and 2.) doesn't open until Monday which is too late for us to sit around and waste time thinking and not doing. Our decision to go was already made and we were ready and that's about the time when we get there and see a piece of paper obviously stating that the pools lock was not working. In other words for those beautiful words written on that fateful paper were "beat it we don't like kids to be happy."

 Well that's at least what my friend and I read, and us being brave and mighty (and frankly a little stupid) we decide to try the lock which it doesn't work exactly which is exactly what the paper said, but it never hurts to test it anyways. Then we try to pick the lock which was a noble quest, in my personal opinion, at the time but turned out to be a slightly swayed view of ourselves because truth is we're two nerds thinking we were going to "break in" of sorts into a pool...

 Although we obviously knew what we were doing due to our experience watching other people break in like a boss(*ehem* we are both faithful watchers of the show "Leverage".) From that show we had learned the tricks of pretty much everything we needed to ever know about breaking-and-entering also how to sneak into a facility completely unnoticed and in black leather which both of us didn't own cause we're poor. But in general our training had already been completed by sitting our butts on the couch for hours at a time. This was the moment we had prepared ourselves for and all our 'experience' was about to pay off. So of course we had to have a great entrance which felt something like this...

 Though it was a great feeling I had the nerve to trip and it ended up as an entrance that was not-as-magical as it is seen in movies or even Leverage. Actually again two nerdy arse girls in swimsuits, may I add, walking into a neighborhood gate readying themselves to try to get into the pool section isn't exactly the coolest entrance I could have imagined. In reality I'm sure it ended in something more realistic like so:

 Awkwardness in presentation: 20.
 Pulling it off and looking good doing it: 0
If you didn't know what I was doing before it's a little thing called scoring the entry of my friend and I in which we failed and got pity points from the squirrel looking towards us and judging us.

 Let's just say "picking the lock" (don't take those quotations too lightly because it was a quotation-needed moment a questionable one too) with a broken door is NOT the smartest thing to do...

 This means that my friend and I tried a safety pin to pick it which didn't work AT ALL...

 Yeah. That happened.

 Then we made a plan to jump the fence with the tables that were put right on the wall by whoever decided to be as generous to do that that's when I realized If we did do our stupid plan and jump over what if it didn't open on the other side and we get stuck on the other side? So that plan failed as well.

 To wrap up that afternoon in a burrito roll of suck, my sisters come riding up to the fence and call us stupid and refer to the paper telling us about the broken lock. Afterwards we walked back to my friend's house dry, hungry, and feeling like Leverage lied to us or that we failed our mission we were sent on. Then we went  back to her house and played with her baby kittens she got for her Birthday but still.

 Mission=Failure

 Admitting this means that I have to watch 10 times more Leverage, Supernatural, and Sledge Hammer to get me to the crime fighting, monster killing, criminal stopping, awesome person I want to become. Or maybe I'll actually exercise my flabby arms and try to train myself to being a fighter again injustice (*ehem* the pool being close, *ehem*) and bad guys.

  Nah sounds like a lot of work.



 So I guess this means that I will probably never be in shape, or be able to climb a tree. That sucks...

My only words for that is:
I like eating anyways, I don't need you exercise!!

 That is all.

Darn It, CARL!!

 Carls.

 One of the most frustrating names, and things on this earth, in my personal opinion. Actually they're a life ruiner also it kills my dreams of pulling off one good picture in my not-so-distant future. Okay now that I left you on edge you might wonder what a Carl really is? Or maybe you just guessed it was my eyes because they also ruin every picture I have on earth because of their "effect" (another word for total crappy reaction) cameras have on my eyes that makes my eyes close, or makes me have the half-eye-open stoner look which is really attractive, obviously. Though these speculations might have been conceived (you are wrong if you did make those assumptions by the way) this ungodly "Carl" is none other than the hair on you and I that never stays in place. Horrifying, no?

 Now that I'm pointing out everyone's imperfections I will give you the advice to get it checked by a professional because no hair gel, conditioner, or comb will get and keep that puppy down. It will keep on resisting the hair straighteners, and the other fancy/freaking expensive devices you buy to smooth it out until the day you decide to actually acknowledge it and decide to except it for what it is. So what I presented the last statement was what I would call the "Disney Remix" in which is obviously not real life and is a version more calm then what will really happen. Truth is you will be fighting with the realization that you have eternal cow-licked hair or hairs, if you're lucky it will be but a few life destroyers.

 My acknowledgement of this horrific problem everyone has, came to my attention by one of my best friends and her yelling at her said 'Carl.' Me not knowing what the crap it was, was introduced to a new way of seeing the hair that makes everyone feel self-conscious and brutally unworthy of any affection. Thank you, Lirit, for pulling me into a world where everyone knows of at least one imperfection of yours.

 Okay now is the time to bring up 'llamas with hats' that introduce a huge production of very horrifying humor. This is different though it goes with the same concept, that 'concept' being a Carl, that does indeed kill people.

 Now that we have seen the difference between the two we can now live our lives with all Carls shamelessly living on our heads and our hearts. So keeping that in mind I'm out.